Take Back the Streets – OCCUPY!

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Breaking News – More Deadbeat Granddads Failing To Make Birthday Payments

ATHENS, GA – At 7:34 p.m. on Monday, two Athens County deputy sheriffs forcibly entered Room 3B of the Sunwood Assisted Living complex, and, after waking him up, took Georgia’s No. 1 deadbeat granddad into custody—79-year-old Roy Ehrengruber, who owes over $480 in grandchild birthday-card money.

According to figures from the Department Of Child And Family Services, Ehrengruber is part of a growing problem: 58 percent of all septuagenarians with grandchildren willfully neglect or underestimate their moral obligation to provide small, cash-only birthday stipends.

According to DCFS administrator Mike Leavitt, millions of American children go dangerously undergifted as a result.

“We see it over and over: In the first five to seven years of grandchild support, these men generally make well-timed and generous payments,” Leavitt said. “Eventually, however, they start arriving later and later, sometimes several months late, and even occasionally addressed to the wrong child. Over the years, the cards contain less and less money, until they stop coming at all.”

The report indicated that deadbeat granddads nationwide owe a collective $23 million in dollar bills and quarters. This figure does not include the extra amount of outstanding silver dollars that need to be recouped, which officials estimate at just over $425,000.

“Without adequate support from their grandfathers, the burden of children’s birthday spending money is unfairly placed on parents, aunts and uncles, and even the kids themselves,” Leavitt said.

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Via: The Onion – ‘America’s Finest News Source’

http://www.theonion.com/articles/more-deadbeat-granddads-failing-to-make-birthday-p,2042/

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