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Breaking News: Nation Down To Last Hundred Grown-Ups

SUITLAND, MD—According to alarming new figures released Monday by the U.S. Census Bureau, the nation’s population of mature adults has been pushed to the brink of extinction, with only 104 grown-ups remaining in the country today.

The endangered demographic, which is projected to die out completely by 2060, is reportedly distinguished from other groups by numerous unique traits, including foresight, rationality, understanding of how to obtain and pay for a mortgage, personal responsibility, and the ability to enter a store without immediately purchasing whatever items they see and desire.

“Our grown-ups are disappearing at a much faster rate than we previously believed,” said Census Bureau chief Robert M. Groves, who believes the decline in responsible adults may now be irreversible. “Unfortunately, we’ve only recently noticed this terrible trend, perhaps because of this group’s unusual capacity to endure hardships with quiet dignity instead of whining loudly to draw attention to themselves.”


Via: the Onion: ‘America’s Finest News Source’



May 20, 2011 Posted by | Breaking News | | Leave a comment

Senator Lindsey ‘Pour it On’ Grahram might end up ‘walking this back’; but maybe not

Via: Huffington Post



OBAMA “did a really good job.”

In case you missed it:
OBAMA “did a really good job.”
What the hay, one more time:
OBAMA “did a really good job.”




May 20, 2011 Posted by | Graham | , , , , | 3 Comments

A suggestion for Ron, Rand, and all the libertarian nut-jobs

May 20, 2011 Posted by | GOP morons, Rand Paul | , , , , , | Leave a comment

The lawyer for Strauss-Kahn (see photo)

Dominique Strauss-Kahn 62, “is a loving husband (three times) and father, and a highly regarded diplomat, politician, lawyer, politician, economist and professor, with no criminal record,” his attorneys wrote.


Reagarding his ‘no criminal record’:  – personally, I’m hoping he goes down, hard, for this.

Oh yeah, I just remembered I’m suppose to say, for this ‘alleged’ crime.

May 20, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Fox News – Maria Shriver is at FAULT

Via: Fox News – Dr. Keith Ablow

As surprising as this news is to some, I doubt it can come as a complete shock to Ms. Shriver and I believe it need not signal the end of her marriage.


Surely, Ms. Shriver understood that in marrying a man who:

1. needed to build up his muscles  as no man before him had ever done **

2. a man who needed to be a film star

3. a man who needed to marry into a famous American family

4.  a man who stillneeded the affirmation of a state’s voters

5. a man with deep needs for admiration and affirmation

More data could have been found in his well-known needs for the affection of women.

But she should have also known that all these needs had to have been based in deep questions her husband harbored about his real worth and whether or not he was truly lovable.


** and NOW, breasts!


personal thought:

Dr. Ablow is an idiot!


May 20, 2011 Posted by | celebs | , , , , , | Leave a comment