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Herman ‘hold the sausage’ Cain About To Quit Because of Practicing His Love Too Much

Via: Wonkette

Briefly popular ignoramus Herman Cain was already sinking in the GOP primary polls like every other random dingbat the party has puked up for consideration during this long, long 2012 campaign season. But the latest scandal, that he carried on a 13-year-long affair with a lady who was not his wife, sems to be enough to finish him off. In the “next several days,”

Cain will decide whether he wants to go back to being a simple millionaire riding around in limos with all his ladies, promoting his books.


CBS News reports:

The Herman Cain campaign is “reassessing” its strategy in the wake of a woman’s claim that she and Cain had engaged in a 13-year extramarital relationship, a senior staffer to the campaign told CBS News. The staffer made the statement following reports that Cain told supporters Tuesday morning that he is reassessing whether to remain in the Republican presidential race.

On a conference call, Cain told his senior staff that he would make a decision on staying in the race “over the next several days.”



personal thought:

Possibly, telling his senior staff, “I’m serious, there aren’t any more women who will come forward; ‘Praise the Lord, NO MORE!’” has run off the track (see photo).


November 30, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, GOP morons | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herman’ hold the sausage’ Cain: extended (13 year) affair

Via: Huffington Post

During an appearance on CNN on Monday, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain said that another woman is prepared to go public with allegations of “an affair for an extended period of time.”

He firmly denied the accusation. Addressing the identity of the woman, he said, “It is someone that I know who is an acquaintance that I thought was a friend.”

Atlanta-based station Fox 5 is expected to run a report on the charges early Monday evening. Cain said he wanted to act preemptively before the claims came to light.

“I wanted to get out in front of it,” he said. “I have nothing to hide, I have done nothing wrong.”




Yeah well, one of them anyway.


November 29, 2011 Posted by | Cain, GOP morons, teabaggers | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Values – what values?

Via: Mock, Paper, Scissors



November 24, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, GOP morons | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herman ‘hold the sausage’ Cain – “We need a leader, not a reader”

Via: Huffington Post

As pointed out by Talking Points Memo, Herman Cain mirrored ‘The Simpsons’ with his latest quotable gem.

According to numerous sources, including The Associated Press, Cain said Thursday at a New Hampshire campaign event, “We need a leader, not a reader.”  AP provides some context for the statement, explaining, “He defended recent stumbles on foreign policy and said the president doesn’t need to know every detail about every country.”


TPM’s Benjy Sarlin notesthat Cain’s quote bears a striking resemblance to a joke from 2007’s “The Simpsons Movie.”

During a scene in the White House, Arnold Schwarzenegger (the President of the United States in the film) is presented with a series of options on a major decision and immediately picks one of them without reading it.

Explaining how he came to the decision so quickly, the character of Schwarzenegger says,

 “I was elected to lead, not to read.”



November 18, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, GOP morons | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Paultards’ heckle Cain: “YOU have a moral crisis”

Via: Think Progress

GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain dove into his stump speech at a campaign stop in Florida yesterday, telling the crowd that we are a “nation of crises.”

After listing the nation’s many “crises,” Cain declared, “we’ve got a moral crisis!”

However, before he could continue, an audience member shouted in response, “YOU have a moral crisis!”

Cain has been dogged by allegations for weeks that he sexually harassed and assaulted multiple women in the past.

Watch the video, courtesy of The Shark Tank:



November 18, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, GOP morons, Ron Paul | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herman ‘mantener la salchicha’ Cain thinks ‘Cuban’ is a language

Via: Think Progress

Onetime GOP presidential front-runner Herman Cain (see photo) has been stumbling recently from a series of scandals and foreign policy gaffes.

Campaigning today in Miami’s little Havana, Cain asked the crowd, “how do you say delicious in Cuban?” National Confidential points out the obvious: there is no “Cuban” language. Cubans speak Spanish.

Perhaps more importantly, Cain was totally unfamiliar with the U.S.’s immigration policy towards Cuba. The so-called “wet foot, dry foot” policy dictates that Cubans can stay in the U.S. if they make it to dry land, while those caught at sea are returned, but he seemed to have no knowledge of it.

Watch it:



November 17, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, GOP morons | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Cain/Palin 2012’

Sarah –  “. . . rock me like a Herman Cain!”


November 17, 2011 Posted by | Cain, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

President Obama’s re-election strategy

Works for me.



Michele ‘bat-shit insane’ Bachmann’s staff has been tasked to research the word ‘verbatim’.

Socialist, perhaps?


November 16, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, Gingrich, GOP morons, Huntsman, Perry, President Obama, Ron Paul, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

VIDEO: Tyson as Cain – “I’m crazier than a shithouse rat”

Via: The Raw Story

Herman Cain — as impersonated by Mike Tyson — unveiled his plans to win the Republican nomination for president in a recently released video.

“I’m running for president and leading in the Republican polls,” he said. “Why? Because the tea party loves crazy more than they hate blacks, and I’m crazier than a shithouse rat.”



WOW, Tyson is VERY GOOD!

It would be cool, if SNL would pick him up; not only does he do a great Cain, but I bet he could do a, Perry d’oh!


November 11, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Cain, Perry | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Teabagger People Bilked of $19 Million With Phony Wingnut TV Scheme

Via: Wonkette

A group of Tennessee conservatives say they were easily bilked out of $19 million because some guy said, “Hey give me all your money and I will make a Tea Party TeeVee Network, all about your favorite subject: yourselves.”

And then the guy allegedly took the money and ran, and now the Tennessee teabaggers are suing him because they are “judicial activists.”


The Tennessean reports this morning:

A group of Middle Tennessee conservatives is suing a California businessman for $19 million, claiming he tricked them into investing in a sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement.

Among those suing is Bill Hemrick (see photo), the Brentwood millionaire who is the Tennessee financial director for Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann.

Hemrick has been active in tea party circles in Williamson County, helping to organize the National Tea Party Convention in Nashville in 2010 that was headlined by Sarah Palin.

He worked briefly raising money for presidential candidate Herman Cain.



November 11, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Bachmann, Cain, GOP morons, Palin, teabaggers | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment