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Coming soon: Brisket Palin’s reality show

Via: Politico

Brisket Palin’s reality show premieres next month, Lifetime announced in a press release on Tuesday:

“Viewers will get the chance to experience the life of one of America’s most famous young mothers, Brisket Palin, in the all new docuseries, Brisket Palin: Life’s a Tripp, premiering Tuesday, June 19, at 10pm ET/PT with back-to-back episodes.  Two new episodes will subsequently air every Tuesday, showcasing Bristol’s journey growing into womanhood with her young son, Tripp.”



May 23, 2012 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

For VP, Romney Is Looking For An ‘Incredibly Boring White Guy’

Via: Think Progress

Mitt Romney’s campaign is looking to fill its vice presidential slot with a “boring white guy,” according to one Republican who is privy to some details of the campaign’s decision.

Politico reports that Romney is trying his hardest to pick “a deliberate anti-Palin,” and apparently that means he cannot pick a person of color or a woman:

One Republican official familiar with the campaign’s thinking said it will be designed to produce a pick who is safe and, by design, unexciting – a deliberate anti-Palin.

The prized dick, I mean pick, no I MEAN dick, said this official:

an “incredibly boring white guy.”



Interesting choice: TWO ‘incredibly boring white guys’!

May 15, 2012 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Palin, Romney | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So Mr. Harrelson, “Tell us, what you really think?”


May 11, 2012 Posted by | 2012, celebs, McCain, Palin | , , , , | Leave a comment

Mystery Senator Hints at Mass GOP Suicide if Romney Loses Michigan

Via: Wonkette

Republican voters have had an entire year now give or take to make up their minds about who they want as their candidate for president, yet they continue to gnash their teeth and weep blood a year later like some game show contestant given two minutes to stare at a row of identical boxes and correctly choose the one with the prize (a bag of poop) inside it or be electrocuted with an anal probe.

Which is why a crusty gym sock like Rick Santorum is somehow now completely tied with a rectangular dildo like Mitt Romney in the Mitt-bot’s home state of Michigan, and why Republican leaders are secretly plotting some kind of mass suicide ritual known as “choosing any random other candidate less insane than the idiots already in the race to go and join the race at this late date” if Mitt can’t seal up the nomination post haste.

One anonymous panicky U.S. Senator confirms this, according to ABC News!


A prominent Republican senator just told me that if Romney can’t win in Michigan, the Republican Party needs to go back to the drawing board and convince somebody new to get into the race.

“If Romney cannot win Michigan, we need a new candidate,” said the senator, who has not endorsed anyone and requested anonymity.

The senator believes Romney will ultimately win in Michigan but says he will publicly call for the party to find a new candidate if he does not.

“We’d get killed,” the senator said if Romney manages to win the nomination after he failed to win the state in which he grew up.

On the campaign trail in Michigan, Mitt Romney listed what he loves about his birth state:

– the people

– the cars

– the lakes

– the air

and even,

-the trees; “The trees are just the right height,” he said, without explanation

Yeah. It’s all playing into Sarah Palin’s master plan.



personal thought:

It seems like only yesterday, Rick ‘good-hair’ Perry was suppose be the GOP ‘mystery’ candidate.

If they ‘beg’, would he accept the nomination?

oh, probably


February 18, 2012 Posted by | 2012, Gingrich, GOP morons, Palin, Perry, Romney, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Super Bowl Pick of Day”

“Who would I choose?

Well, for what it’s worth, just my two-cents — because my pick really isn’t worth a hill of beans and I trust Americans to choose their own favorite — I say, in order to keep this competitive battle going, to continue the needed vetting and debate, if I were there, I’d vote for Eli!”

– but of course, Sarah Palin



February 4, 2012 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Palin: Gingrich will ‘clobber’ Obama

Via: Raw Story

Failed Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin all but endorsed Newt Gingrich on Saturday, saying Florida voters should “rage against the machine, vote for Newt.”

Fox News host Jeanine Pirro asked the former Alaska governor how Gingrich could claim that he was not a Washington insider after being in Congress for 20 years, including serving as the Speaker of the House.

“Look at the players in the establishment who are fighting so hard against him,” Palin explained. “They want to crucify him because he’s tapped into that average, everyday tea party grassroots movement that has said enough is enough of the establishment that tries to run the show and tweak rules and laws and regulations for for their own good, and not for our nation’s own good. Well, when both party machines — and many in the media — are trying to crucify Newt Gingrich for bucking the tide, and bucking the establishment, that tells you something.”


“I think that comes down to who can articulate their ideas, their solutions best,” she said. “And in a campaign, the way that you articulate that is in a debate. And I’ve appreciated, again, Newt Gingrich’s, his style in debates, his thinking, his way of explaining what it is that he stands for. So I think that in a debate, Newt Gingrich would clobber Barack Obama.”



After all these years, still fuckin’ crazy.


January 31, 2012 Posted by | 2012, Gingrich, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sarah Palin Under the Impression That Chris Christie Wears ‘Panties’

Via: Wonkette

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, the supposed-to-have-run of the Republican party, declared Newt Gingrich to be an “embarrassment” to the party during an appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press this past weekend, so as usual a Republican is embarrassed by America, since Newt, you know, won the South Carolina primary with many more votes than John McCain won in 2008.

To this remark, Fox News loiterer Sarah Palin condescendingly forgave Christie immediately — “Poor Chris. That was a rookie mistake” — but at the same time suggested that the New Jersey governor was getting his “panties in a wad,” though this is probably a requirement/side effect of joining the Romney campaign. Romney himself prefers long chastity underwear, worn inside out, with the buttons on the inside to make access by others more difficult.

Classic Sarah Palin style: mad-libbing by substituting a perfectly suitable word/phrase like BOXER BRIEFS or KNICKERS or TIGHTY WHITEYS with another, less fortunate word, PANTIES.

Still, such a Mama Bear even while mauling her prey:

You know, sometimes, if your candidate loses in just one step along this path, as was the case when Romney lost to Newt the other night — and, of course, Romney is Chris Christie’s guy — well, you kind of get your panties in a wad, and you may say things that you regret later. And I think that that’s what Chris Christie did.



January 25, 2012 Posted by | 2012, Gingrich, GOP morons, Palin, Romney | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sarah Palin to Mitt Romney: And But Like So, What 100,000 Jobs?

Via: Wonkette

Sarah Palin, world’s greatest unwitting composer of spam correspondence, has joined delightfully unexpected ‘team of avengers Gingrich, Perry, Paul, Santorum and Huntsman LLC’ in attacking Romney’s Bain Capital tenure, specifically his claim that he created 100,000 jobs while papering his 100,000-square-foot house with 100,000 benjamins. Never mind that in the past one-eighth-eon that constitutes a modern political day, some members of the anti-Romney force, most of all Rick Perry, have gone into temporary Bain-bashing retirement.

(For a recap of what Team Non-Romney accomplished Wednesday — it was really quite beautiful — just watch this little clip.)

Irrelevant Sarah jumped in just a little late, saying on Fox News that Romney needs to actually “PROVE” to America that he created those 100,000 jobs. WARNING: many pronouns to follow.

“This isn’t about a politician making huge profits in the private sector, [I] think what Governor Perry is getting at is that Governor Romney claimed to have created 100,000 jobs at Bain and you know, people are wanting to know: Is there proof of that claim? And was it U.S. jobs created for United States [c]itizens? You know, the 100,000 jobs, and I believe that that’s what Governor Perry is getting at is, you know, own up to the claims that are being made I had and that’s fair. That’s not negative campaigning, that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed, especially when it comes to job creation because so many of us are so concerned about what’s going on on Main Street, as well as Wall Street.”


At it but and so you know is that it is but who what where why how and then me and you and money and yes well. But the woman has a point.


and yes well, the link:



personal thought:

As soon as Romney locks up the nomination, I predict Palin will run as a third-party, possibly a ‘teabagger’ candidate.


January 13, 2012 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Palin, Romney | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Nobody Wants To Buy Sarah Palin’s Dumb New Reality Teevee Show

Via: Wonkette

Uh-oh, guys, no one wants to pay money to yapping imbecile Sarah Palin for her job of “doing nothing” anymore!

RLY SAD BUT TRUE: her insipid, publicly-funded reality teevee show about naked grizzly bear hunting in Alaska or whatever was not renewed for a second season, so she is apparently trying to shop around a new show starring Todd Palin pissing moose figurines into the snow.

Absolutely none of the networks want to buy it, though!



December 14, 2011 Posted by | 2012, gif, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Imbecile Sarah Palin Thinks Roger Ailes Doesn’t Own Her (He Does)

Via: Wonkette

Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet and look, here already is a giant plate of half-putrefied “leftovers” to add to the compost bin: mutant overgrown toad wart Roger Ailes nearly (OH GOD, WHY NEARLY) evictedyammering reject Sarah Palin from his evil teevee space beams in an enraged fit right after she “announced” she was quitting the presidential race she never joined, because she failed at her sole remaining paid task of delivering this breaking non-information on Fox News.

Sarah Palin told some other outlet first for the same reason she does anything: out of raw, brainless spite.

From Daily Intel:

After [Palin’s] announcement, [Ailes] called Fox’s executive vice-president Bill Shine into a meeting. Shine is the network’s principal point of contact with Palin. Ailes told him she had made a big mistake. “I paid her for two years to make this announcement on my network,” Ailes pointedly told Shine. Sources described the episode on condition of anonymity, given the sensitivity of the relationships.

Palin is said to have made her announcement on Levin’s show because she’s been upset that Fox News has given a platform to Karl Rove, one of her principal critics. “She isn’t happy with Karl,” one Palin adviser told me. “From day one, he hasn’t been very nice.” Levin had become Palin’s biggest booster in the conservative commentariat, and Palin is known for rewarding loyalists, and punishing her detractors.


Hahaha, and then she was forced to “recognize her misstep” before her overlords like a regular commoner employee. “Gone rogue” that one, she is! Eh, not really, mostly just “gone,” because she is too stupid even to remember who signs her checks.



November 23, 2011 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Palin | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment