a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a little more of …

Just another WordPress.com site

BREAKING NEWS: Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail

Via: David Borowitz – New Yorker

1

In what he called “a provocative and defiant act,” President Obama charged on Tuesday that Russian President Vladimir Putin has started letting his calls go directly to voice mail.

Speaking at the White House before this week’s NATO summit, a visibly furious Obama said that Putin’s new practice of letting his calls go straight to voice mail “hampers our ability to discuss the future of Ukraine and other important issues going forward.”

Having left dozens of voice mails for the Russian President, Obama said that he tried to reach him via e-mail on Monday night but received an out-of-office auto reply.

“Given what he has been up to in Ukraine over the past few weeks, I find it impossible believe he has been out of the office,” Obama said.

The President hinted that Putin’s failure to respond to his voice mails could result in additional sanctions and signaled that he did not intend to call the Russian President again. “I have left my last voice mail for him,” he said, adding that the last time he called Putin his mailbox was full.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-obama-says-calls-putin-going-straight-voicemail

.

 

 

September 3, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Conservatives Praise Antarctic Ice Sheet Melt as Beautiful Expression of Free Market

Via: Andy Borowitz – The New Yorker

1

A delegation of conservative members of Congress paid a visit to the West Antarctic Ice Sheet melt today to witness firsthand what one of them called “the most beautiful expression of the free market I’ve ever seen.”

The author of that remark, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), said that he was awestruck after watching gigantic chunks of glacier disintegrate and crash to the sea.

“Every schoolchild in America needs to see this,” he said. “This is the free market at work in the way that God and Ayn Rand intended.”

Rep. Ryan said that watching the now-unstoppable Ice Sheet melt in action reaffirmed his belief in “the glory and might of free-market forces.”

“Now more than ever, I believe that government needs to get out of the way of glaciers,” he said.

~~~

Another member of the delegation, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), decried what she called the “alarmism” surrounding reports of the collapsing Ice Sheet.

“The Ice Sheet melt is only a problem if you live in Antarctica, which, honestly, is a pretty dumb place to live,” she said. “Polar bears live in Antarctica because they have no choice, but we’re not polar bears.”

CORRECTION: Polar Bears live in the Arctic, and NOT Antarctica. And YES, the ice is melting there as well. (See Photo)

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/05/conservatives-praise-antarctic-ice-sheet-melt-as-beautiful-expression-of-free-market.html?utm_source=tny&utm_campaign=generalsocial&utm_medium=facebook&mbid=social_facebook

 

 

 

 

May 15, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment