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If You’re Not Whiplashed You’re Not Paying Attention

Via: Wonkette

It’s a rare thing in the business of 24-hour political pontificating, but every so often the relentless onslaught of inane prattle issuing forth from somewhere in the vicinity of that horrifically manicured hair growth attached to Chuck “the dwarf” Todd’s face actually manages to congeal into something sensible. Moments like this are quite rare!

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We’re going to do our best here to summarize everything that happened as briefly as humanly possible. We strongly urge our readers to feign something like an auctioneer’s voice inside your heads while reading the forthcoming so that it all goes faster/hurts less.

Ok, so!

1. Mitt Romney officially didn’t win Iowa

2. funnyman Rick Perry dropped out

3. polls showed Gingrich taking a lead within the margin of error in South Carolina; overnights later showed Newt Gingrich taking a commanding six-point lead in said Carolina

4. Sarah Palin claimed that Newt Gingrich’s philandering would prove an asset

5. Herman Cain officially endorsed all three hundred million or so American citizens apparently running for president

6. Mitt Romney developed something of a Cayman Islands problem

7.  Newt Gingrich floated the idea of asking Sarah Palin to join his (HYPOTHETICAL, please, dear god, LET IT BE HYPOTHETICAL) administration

8. Mitt Romney snapped at a communist

9. Rush Limbaugh suggested that sex addicted adulterous hornballs probably deserve government disability benefits — and then how did the President choose to celebrate a day in which every last one of these goofballs all but assured him a victory in November?

Duh, by going to Disney World!!

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Good morning, America! Here we are!

You all now occupy an actual, undeniable, non-fictional reality land in which Newt Gingrich now leads in South Carolina by six points and every last pundit on the TV this morning is speculating that Newt’s going to win this thing and parlay his momentum into a victory in Florida and maybe even onward to the convention.

http://wonkette.com/460749/if-youre-not-whiplashed-youre-not-paying-attention#more-460749

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Note: I ENLARGED the photo, so you could see the ever professional, Mr. Todd.

you’re welcome

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January 21, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

Via: Huffington Post

We’ve seen plenty of weird crime mugshots and heard plenty of bizarre stories. But when it comes to criminal names, this one is … a mouthful.

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, was arrested Thursday afternoon on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a violation of probation in Madison, Wisc.

Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was born Jeffrey Drew Wilschke, according to court records unearthed by the Capital Times. He legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoopittybop-Bop-Bop in October.

According to Zopittybop-Bop-Bop’s apparent Facebook account, when he’s not in trouble with the law he enjoys activities including:

“eating”

“standing”

“walking”

“thinking,”

“Ron Paul”

“diamond”

He’s also single… so there’s that, ladies.

Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was apprehended by authorities after neighbors complained of “excessive drinking and drug use” around a local park, the Madison police report says.

Police say that when they took Zopittybop-Bop-Bop into custody, they found him in possession of marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and a knife.

On his way to the prison, Zopittybop-Bop-Bop allegedly told cops that he would eventually “get even with them.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/06/beezow-doo-doo-zopittybop_n_1190410.html?ref=mostpopular

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January 8, 2012 Posted by | Ron Paul | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pat Oliphant – ‘oink’

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/pat-oliphant-slideshow/#crsl=%252Fphotos%252Fpat-oliphant-slideshow%252F20120103-po120103-gif-photo-200113741.html

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personal thought:

And to think this is the BEST they had to offer.

Punk the Penquin is right, oink.

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January 5, 2012 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Perry, Romney, Ron Paul, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Republican Candidates’ Economic Agenda For The 1 Percent

Via: Think Progress

https://seattle98.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=9977&action=edit&message=10

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January 3, 2012 Posted by | 2012, Bachmann, Gingrich, GOP morons, Huntsman, Occupy Wall Street, Romney, Ron Paul, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ron Paul’s Iowa Campaign Hoping For Catastrophic Death Blizzard

Via: Wonkette

Thanks to the Republicans destroying the Earth’s climate, Iowa is expected to be warm and dry and sunny on January 3.

This is apparently very bad news for Ron Paul, because the lack of the usual Iowa Blizzard on Caucus Day means that the regular old Republican welfare-farmer corn-syrup farmers on their Medicare-provided Hoverounds might actually turn out to support that liberal devil-cultist Mitt Romney or what’s his name, the fat amoral jewelry-debt baby who takes all the “consulting money” from Big Government.

See, Ron Paul supporters (Paultards – see photo) were hoping for a record-breaking blizzard, so they could re-enact those wintry scenes from Lord of the Rings, when Luke gets mugged by a fleet-footed snow monster.

http://wonkette.com/458934/ron-paul-iowa-campaign-hoping-for-catastrophic-death-blizzard#more-458934

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December 30, 2011 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Ron Paul | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ron Paul’s Racist Newsletters

Via: The Atlantic

The documents, which include harsh, prejudiced attacks against the black community, are evidence of a libertarian movement trying to find an audience.

So as Ron Paul is on track to win the Iowa caucuses, he is getting a new dose of press scrutiny.

And the press is focusing on the newsletters that went out under his name in the late 1980s and early 1990s. They were called the:

– Ron Paul’s Political Report

– Ron Paul’s Freedom Report

– Ron Paul Survival Report

– Ron Paul Investment Letter.

– There is no doubt that the newsletters contained utterly racist statements.

Some choice quotes:

– “Given the inefficiencies of what DC laughingly calls the criminal justice system, I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal.”

– “We are constantly told that it is evil to be afraid of black men, it is hardly irrational.”

– After the Los Angeles riots, one article in a newsletter claimed, “Order was only restored in L.A. when it came time for the blacks to pick up their welfare checks.” 

– One referred to Martin Luther King Jr. as “the world-class philanderer who beat up his paramours” and who “seduced underage girls and boys.”

Another referred to Barbara Jordan, a civil rights activist and congresswoman as “Barbara Morondon,” the “archetypical half-educated victimologist.”

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/12/the-story-behind-ron-pauls-racist-newsletters/250338/

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December 23, 2011 Posted by | 2012, GOP morons, Ron Paul | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Newt® Gingrich® Says Ron Paul’s Base Is Drug Fans

Via: Atlantic Wire

Despite his mantra to stay “positive,” Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich took a swipe at rival Ron Paul on Thursday, suggesting that the Texas lawmaker’s political base (see photo) consists of “people who want to legalize drugs.”
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http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2011/12/gingrich-says-ron-pauls-base-all-about-drugs/46559/

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December 23, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Gingrich, GOP morons, Ron Paul | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Newt® Gingrich® Takes Huge Poll Hit Ahead Of Iowa Caucus

Via: Huffington Post

Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich suffered a big drop in support in Iowa with Ron Paul taking the lead weeks before a key caucus in the state, according to a Democratic polling firm.

The Public Policy Polling telephone survey of 597 likely Republican caucus voters in Iowa found Paul, a congressman from Texas, leading with 23 percent of the vote, followed by 20 percent for former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, 15 percent for Kim Jung-il, and 14 percent for Gingrich.

“Newt Gingrich’s campaign is rapidly imploding and Gingrich has now seen a big drop in his Iowa standing two weeks in a row,” the polling firm, which is affiliated with the Democratic Party, said in a statement.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/19/newt-gingrich-polls_n_1157807.html

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December 20, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fox News – ‘comes out of the closet’ with support for Newt® Gingrich®

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December 15, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Bachmann, Fox news, Gingrich, GOP morons, Perry, President Obama, Romney, Ron Paul, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pat Oliphant – ‘Why here comes Mr Sandusky’

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December 6, 2011 Posted by | 2012, Bachmann, Cain, Gingrich, GOP morons, Perry, Ron Paul, Santorum | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment