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Butch’s ‘strap-on penis’ is NOW working for the cops!

Via: Huffington Post

A police officer, a prostitute, an opossum and a “flaccid rubber replica of a penis” — they’re not the ingredients to a punch line, but rather the details from a Florida crime report.

On September 14, a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office task force was patrolling the streets of Bradenton for suspected prostitutes. At about 10 p.m., an undercover detective with a backup team stationed nearby pulled up next to a white female in a green spaghetti-strap shirt.

“She got into the undercover vehicle and told me to head north,” the undercover John, identified only as “Smith,” wrote in the police report.

After stopping at an ATM, the alleged lady of the night, later identified as Christina Hope Vavra, a.k.a. ‘Pretty Baby’, got down to the business at hand, according to an unusually explicit police report.

“We then drove out of the parking lot, at which point she asked me to expose my penis,” Smith wrote. “I asked her if I could put a condom on first. I then exposed a flaccid rubber replica of a penis and placed a condom on it. She immediately leaned over and put it into her mouth.”

The rendezvous came to a sudden halt when a wildlife critter strolled into the road.

“I saw an opossum cross the road and slammed on the brakes, causing the female to slide out of her seat and mildly into the dashboard,” the officer wrote.

Vavra, 31, was subsequently taken into custody by the monitoring team and booked on suspicion of engaging in prostitution. She was placed in the Manatee County Jail and held on $120 bond.



Hey that’s Butch’s ‘strap-on flacid rubber replica of a penis’, penis!

‘Strap-on-penis’ assault case dropped by prosecutors’, that’s right,  Bradenton, FL.



September 22, 2011 Posted by | cats/dogs/goats/bears/whatever | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Strap on Penis’ Assault Case Dropped By Prosecutors

Via: The Smoking Penis; no, no I mean Gun

Prosecutors have decided not to pursue felony assault charges against the Florida woman arrested last month for allegedly trying to batter her girlfriend with a “female sex toy.”

The State Attorney’s Office decision not to file an aggravated assault charge against Jantavia Taylor was disclosed in a recent Circuit Court filing. The case was bounced after the alleged victim signed a waiver of prosecution, prosecutor Rebecca Muller Thompson told TSG.

Taylor, 21, was arrested on August 15 after a Bradenton Police Department officer responded to an assault call at the home Taylor shared with girlfriend Tamara Cadet. According to a police report, Cadet, 23, said that she and Taylor “became involved in an argument and that Ms. Taylor then grabbed a knife from an unknown location and began to chase her with it.” Cadet said she fled the couple’s home and ran a block before Taylor gave up the chase.

When questioned by the cop, Taylor denied brandishing a knife, saying that, “the only thing that she threw at Ms. Cadet trying to strike her was a female sex toy (STRAP on PENIS).” A subsequent police canvas for the purported weapon determined that, “The sex toy was located across the street in the yard of another residence.”




“The sex toy was located across the street in the yard of another residence” in the ‘custody’ of the neighbor’s dog, Butch.

The cops ended up playing FETCH with Butch for thirty-minutes before he collapsed from exhaustion.


September 21, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment