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BREAKING NEWS: Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail

Via: David Borowitz – New Yorker

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In what he called “a provocative and defiant act,” President Obama charged on Tuesday that Russian President Vladimir Putin has started letting his calls go directly to voice mail.

Speaking at the White House before this week’s NATO summit, a visibly furious Obama said that Putin’s new practice of letting his calls go straight to voice mail “hampers our ability to discuss the future of Ukraine and other important issues going forward.”

Having left dozens of voice mails for the Russian President, Obama said that he tried to reach him via e-mail on Monday night but received an out-of-office auto reply.

“Given what he has been up to in Ukraine over the past few weeks, I find it impossible believe he has been out of the office,” Obama said.

The President hinted that Putin’s failure to respond to his voice mails could result in additional sanctions and signaled that he did not intend to call the Russian President again. “I have left my last voice mail for him,” he said, adding that the last time he called Putin his mailbox was full.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-obama-says-calls-putin-going-straight-voicemail

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September 3, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Putin – such a dick!

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July 23, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Igor Gerkin – a Russian version of a teabagger

Via: AP
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A top pro-Russia rebel commander in eastern Ukraine has given a bizarre version of events surrounding the Malaysian jetliner crash — suggesting many of the victims may have died days before the plane took off.

The pro-rebel website Russkaya Vesna on Friday quoted Igor Girkin as saying he was told by people at the crash site that:

“a significant number of the bodies weren’t fresh,” adding that he was told they were drained of blood and reeked of decomposition.

http://news.yahoo.com/rebel-leader-gives-bizarre-account-plane-crash-182256709.html

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July 19, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Baby’ Putin

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March 20, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

Putin and Bush – what a f*cking pair!

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March 9, 2014 Posted by | GOP morons | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Breaking News – John Kerry Sits In Shadows Of Kiev Café Awaiting Woman Known Only As Dasha

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KIEV, UKRAINE

Following his overnight arrival in Ukraine amid the escalating regional tensions over the the Crimean peninsula, sources confirmed seeing U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry wearing a trench coat and cloaked in shadows at the back of a seedy, smoke-filled Kiev café Tuesday while reportedly awaiting a woman known to him only as Dasha.

“All I know is that my contact goes by the name Dasha, and from the dossier I was given, she’s extremely beautiful, deadly, and not keen on making my life easy,” the United States’ top diplomat was reportedly overheard saying between drags of a pencil-thin cigarette held between his pursed lips.

“The one thing I do know is there isn’t a chance in hell this secretary of state leaves Kiev without first making nice with Dasha. No, one way or another I need Dasha, and not just because she’s a mysteriously alluring beauty who’s been known to seduce her share of foreign ministers. I mustn’t underestimate her cunning and intelligence either—let’s just say this is a woman who knows a thing or two, particularly about the socioeconomic realities of eastern Europe and the political divisions among the ethnic populations in the region.”

At press time, Kerry had reportedly detected the unmistakable scent of rosewood and nightshade, Dasha’s signature perfume.

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Via: The Onion ‘America’s Finest News Source’

http://www.theonion.com/articles/john-kerry-sits-in-shadows-of-kiev-cafe-awaiting-w,35436/

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March 7, 2014 Posted by | Breaking News | , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Photo of the Day’

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“This is an island of freedom and we will defend it.” – opposition leader Vitali Klitschko

Kiev, Ukraine

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(Photo credit: Efrem Lukatsky/AP)

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February 19, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment